Two questions that have been powerful for me recently;
- Who are we being in each moment of the day?
- Am I giving the gift of authentic self?
When I was born, I entered this world with a blank canvas of what to expect.
The only thing I knew was that I was alive.
As days passed, I experienced connection, love, and a willingness for survival.
Still not understanding the world around me, I learned about the basic needs in life that provided me with happiness and contentment.
Years began to pass with my knowledge and beliefs starting to form my perception of how I saw myself and the world.
My earliest memories revealed a young boy who was curious, adventurous, loved exploring. Trying to piece together the many connections that were translucent.
Just being the purest, natural form of self that I knew. Offering the gift of my authentic self from only what I knew.
Situations, experiences and challenges entered the conceptual stage of living each day.
I noticed the basic needs of survival being manipulated not by external influences, but my own.
The “wanting” to be accepted altered my true form of who I was. I opened the costume trunk and found many masks. There were masks for all occasions.
Self doubts and judgement against myself began to debilitate my thoughts to act and function in my purest authentic form of me. Further disconnection disabled the lens for which I viewed the world and myself.
I began to live in how I thought others wanted me to be. I learned to fit in. The internal voice whispered to be safe, be liked, so there was little chance of rejection. The connection I had internally, continually grew into an unwalkable distance from myself.
Feelings of shame, guilt, resentment for who I was created a voice of destruction.
A foundation being formed to keep others out, so I could feel safe.
Solidifying a soul full of emptiness and yearning which once roamed free and happy.
A labyrinth of darkness covered the mental landscape distorting every navigational direction. Periodic gleams of light would pierce through giving glimpses of hope that there was a way out.
I wasn’t ready to give up on myself.
Noticing how others treated themselves and how they connected with others showed me a way to emulate safe methods to bring stability to a volatile situation.
I learned what such things as self esteem, positivity, inner critic were. Slowly learning about who I was, altering the self concept that crippled how I functioned everyday.
I began giving myself permission to be me without inner repercussions.
I was scared and afraid because I couldn’t be who I wanted to be.
I felt powerless and weak because I didn’t know how to escape from such a demoralizing state.
How I felt on the inside transcended to the outside, except I learned how to hide it well.
Transformation occurred when I grasped the ideal concept of accountability. Not blaming external forces for my decisions but to look inwardly at what I can control. Assessing what my values are and how they fit into my daily life. Asking myself, “Am I living within my values?”
Learning that forgiving self was the only way to begin to heal and let go of moments and memories that I held onto that stripped me of my personal power. I learned to invite the thought and emotion of self love into my being by practicing it to change my belief about myself. Monitoring what I think, what I feel and how I bring these into action.
Focus was placed on connection to self. Taking the time to nurture myself, ground myself, and be present in all areas of life with gratitude.
I then had the difficult task of removing the invisible barrier I constructed as a defense mechanism to keep me safe. Thereby, allowing me to toil in self doubt, self judgement and not fully let myself shine because then I could just “fit in” and not feel like I am in the spotlight. This gave me the opportunity to try and avoid failure and be closer to the idea of perfection.
When I realized the things that I thought were keeping me safe no longer served a purpose for me, I was ready to accept embracing vulnerability.
I opened my heart so that I could fully connect with others and thus, fully connect with myself. No judgement, no self doubt. Only the gift of authentic self.
When I looked at the person I wanted to be, I asked myself “what does that mean?” How long am I willing to deny myself of my rightful gift?
After attending a conference recently which Dr. Sean Stephenson spoke at, I was frozen in awe as what he said, resonated with me as I reflect back through past periods of depression and anxiety in my life. One quote I take with me wherever I go now, “Never put your glow on low.” Dr. Sean Stephenson Ted Talk encapsulates the freedom I am now experiencing.
I can now honestly say, “I am ready to embrace my greatness, because I am worthy of living an extraordinary life that brings health and happiness. I am enough for who I am, not for who I am not!”
Everythingelse is extra that infuses more value in myself and the world around me.
I am the greatest version of me – My true authentic self – Kristin Larsen
“Being your authentic self is the sacred bond you have with your mind, body and soul.” – Kristin Larsen
- As you live each day, are you being your true authentic self? Are you embracing the gift of authentic self?
- How long are you willing to deprive yourself of stepping into your greatness?
What is the first step you would like to take in order to be the best version of you, and reveal your gift of authentic self?